Garden Dreams and Water Features

Gorgeous no?
This is the fountain at my friend Saundra's house.
The fountain is situated on the front walk to her home.
I covet it.
I pretty much covet Saundra's whole house and garden...except for her property taxes and maintenance costs...she can keep those.

January is when I start thinking about gardening, when I itch to get my fingers into the soil - but I can't because every square inch of soil here at this old farm is a muddy mucky mess...
so I dream.
Lately I've been dreaming of water features...especially fountains like Saundra's.
Except today, when my dreams of water fountains came true.
In my kitchen.
My kitchen sink became a lovely water feature, shooting water straight up into the air, onto the window and all over me and the counters and floors.
I bet that doesn't happen at Saundra's house, Saundra's faucets wouldn't dream of exploding all over her kitchen - Saundra runs a tight ship.

On a happy note, Moen is sending me a replacement faucet.
Thank You Moen, for not making me jump through a lot of hoops and standing behind your warranty.
Disclaimer* The nice guy that I talked to from Moen didn't ask me to say nice things about them, he doesn't even know that I have a blog that nobody reads.
I can't say that he doesn't know who I am except he does, cuz he's sending me a new faucet. I doubt he knows that when you blog and say nice things about faucet makers that you also have to say that they aren't paying you to say those nice things.
I wonder how much we paid our elected officials to make up those silly rules, oops...I think that's another post - for another day.


I shall resume my dreams of water features..but I shall be more specific, all water features must be outdoors.

My New Reflecting Pond

I love reflecting ponds.
When I travel I love to go to beautiful gardens... water features always catch my fancy.
My new reflecting pond was installed last night courtesy of my upstream neighbor.
He mowed his ditch...all 40 acres of it...and then he let the long canary grass fall into the ditch....and then it rained last night...and it rained some more.
All that canary grass worked its way downstream - until it ran into my culvert -
where it stopped.
And it plugged.
And the water had nowhere to go.
Except my back yard,
and my front yard
and my field,
and my veggie garden,
and my party barn...
where I was storing my dining room chairs,
and my rugs,
and some furniture.

I would like to take this opportunity to present my upstream neighbor with...
drum roll please....

THE DARWIN AWARD.
OK...so nobody died...and to officially qualify for a Darwin he would have had to trip and fall into the ditch and croak.
Can I just give him the "ISNY"?
That's Inconsiderate Stupid Neighbor of the Year Award...
works for me.

I have to go now...I'll check back in a month or so after I finish cleaning up the mess.

Random

Just cracked open my fourth gallon of paint...for the living room alone.
Stucco = yucko...and no...the room isn't huge.
My paint guy said he loooves stucco...of course he does!
Not even sure I like the color, keep telling myself I need to just finish and put everything back where it belongs before I start all over again with another color.
Still haven't come up with "my word" for 2010...
maybe it should be a phrase.

The Evil Troll

Adding on to the farmhouse.

There...I said it. Now I'll never get a building permit.
I made a little trip to the county building permit office to ask some questions about getting a building permit to add on to the farmhouse. The Husband finally admitted he's never going to move. If this is going to be where I'm going to live until my dying days it might be a good idea to make it "old lady friendly" - that means a bedroom and bathroom on the same floor, right now the bedrooms are upstairs and the one bathroom is on the main floor. Negotiating the stairs in the middle of the night with arthritic joints is becoming more of a challenge.
The guy in the permit office was a creep...there were three other people who weren't, but the guy that they made me talk to about the process of adding on couldn't have been less helpful.
Here's a little of the conversation...I'm still seething.

Him: Who is drawing the plans?
Me: I've drawn it to scale and your inspector told me I should be fine.
Him: Do you even know how to draw a plan?
Me: Uh...well...I aced my drafting and design class but that was a few years ago.
Him: You think you can draw a plan? Are you an engineer?
Me: No, I'm not...
Him: I require a plan of the existing structure, a plan of the proposed addition, section elevation drawings and site photos.
Me: Okay...I've done that. Anything else?
Him: They're probably not to scale.
Me: Actually...they are.
Him: But you said you're not an architect or an engineer....they're probably not to scale.

At that point in the conversation I got a hot flash...or perhaps it was seething rage...not sure.
The evil troll inside of me is doing a freaky little happy dance that the construction boom in the county has come to a screeching halt.
Maybe that little creep at the county permit office will get laid off....
Oh...I can think that but I shouldn't really blog it.
Hot flash.
I did.
I AM the evil troll.
I am the evil troll that will never get a building permit.
Oh well, one more excuse to not spend the money on an addition.

I'm Officially A Fuddy-Duddy

In my oh-so-square little world I've tried to play by "the rules" of fashion...most of them make a lot of sense to me, I grew to like and even embrace those rules...I was comfortable with those rules....but oh my gravy kiddos...all of those rules have been tossed out the window.

I am throwing in my "fashion don't" towel. Our new First Lady wore glitter for her first official daytime appearance....ayyyyeeeee! Oh dear oh dear oh dear, I'm sorry...call me old fashioned, call me Mrs. CrabbyPants. It is what it is...a really big glamour "don't".

I'm looking forward to "Change"...bear with me while I get used to all of it, this reaching across the aisle. I'm stuck in my ways, but I'll try hard to change with the best of them.

The lovely Mrs. Obama isn't the first person to give me cause to pause...this whole fashion shake-up has been going on for quite some time, but today was the final blow...the proof is in the Presidential pudding.

So....I'll change. What will I wear to embrace change?

For starters:

flip flops and a hoodie to a memorial ( toe frostbite will be a problem in winter)

strappy open toe high heels in the snow....(more frostbite, and of course a pedicure for any toes that survive that initial case of frostbite)

fuzzy wool in the summer....(followed by a nasty rash when I have a hot-flash)

intenionally visible bra straps (guilty...but it wasn't intentional!)

crisp white cotton pants in December (never wear white on my lower half...therapy to follow for all)

corduroy in August (more hot-flash issues on the horizon)

diamonds (blingggg) for daytime (note to self *save up for diamonds)

a white dress to a wedding that isn't my own (all three of my sisters-in-laws wore white to my wedding...who knew they were trend-setters?)

a splashy print frock to a funeral (oh dear, I'm visibly squirming)

white shoes from Labor Day to Memorial weekend (they will be orthopedic, it just makes sense)

and...

lots and lots of cleavage, daytime cleavage, night time cleavage, all the time cleavage...if ya got 'em flaunt 'em! (even if said cleavage is that of a wrinkly fifty year old chubby girl who got too much sun in the 70's)

There will be a period of adjustment so please bear with me. If you happen to spot me wearing dark jeans or slacks, a conservative sweater, a jacket that covers my rather ample rear end and sensible shoes...please bear in mind that it will take some time for me to assemble the appropriate attire for all of these new changes.